Soulmate Signs: 8 Ways to Know, and How a Soulmate Differs from a Twin Flame

You’re walking side by side along the river, leaves crunching under your shoes, and for a long while neither of you says a word. It isn’t an awkward silence. It’s the kind you can rest in. And at some point you notice that you don’t have to explain yourself to this person. It feels as if you didn’t just meet him, but finally found him again.

Maybe he is brand new in your life, or maybe only now do you notice how naturally he belongs. And then the question is there and won’t leave you alone: is he my soulmate?

I have been reading cards since 2012, and I know this question from my own life too, because I found my great love with a soulmate. Here are eight soulmate signs from everyday life, and an honest look at how a soulmate differs from a twin flame.

What a soulmate really is

A soulmate is someone your soul feels at home with before your head really knows him. People often describe it as a kind of recognition. No loud fireworks, more like a warm light that is simply there and stays.

Being soulmates doesn’t mean you are the same in everything. He can be chatty first thing in the morning while you need your quiet. But at the core you understand each other, and you give each other something to hold on to.

You’ll often read that you know it’s your soulmate by the butterflies. With my soulmate it was different from what I expected: no racing heart, but calm. Today I believe that is the surest sign of all. With a soulmate, things go quiet inside you. You don’t have to prove anything or keep wondering what you’re allowed to text.

The first signs: when you get to know each other

The first sign is that quiet feeling of already knowing him. Maybe you meet at a party or by chance in line at the bakery. After a few sentences it feels like picking up an old conversation, not starting a new one.

The second sign is the silence. With most people, quiet gets uncomfortable at some point. With a soulmate you can sit next to each other in the car, look out the window and say nothing, and it is still lovely.

The third sign is that you can be yourself with him. You can be tired, cranky or sad, and he stays. He doesn’t only like you when you’re glowing, but also when you open the door on a rainy Tuesday in your oldest sweatshirt with your hair a mess.

The fourth sign is understanding each other without many words. One look across the table and he knows you want to go home. That kind of quiet, feeling understanding is what the Queen of Cups stands for.

The signs that grow with time

The fifth sign shows when things get hard. Even soulmates argue, that is completely normal. But instead of giving each other the silent treatment for days, at some point you sit down and talk. Nobody has to win, because you both want things to be good between you.

The sixth sign is that you give each other room to grow. He is truly happy for you when you try a new job or finally follow your own path. He doesn’t keep you small so you’ll stay, and you are glad for his successes too.

The seventh sign is those little coincidences that aren’t really coincidences. You think of him, and that same minute he calls. Little moments like these show how deeply you are connected.

The eighth sign may be the most beautiful one. With him you feel at home, not in an apartment, but in yourself. When you come to him after a long day, your shoulders drop and you breathe more deeply. In tarot this feeling looks a lot like the Ten of Cups, a home full of warmth.

Maybe you are wondering whether he feels the same calm you do. If you like, five tarot cards can show what is in his heart and what connects you, and I’ll read them for you in peace.

Soulmate or twin flame: the difference in everyday life

Both connections start with a familiarity you can’t explain, which is why they are so easy to mix up. The difference lies in what the connection does to you. A soulmate is like a warm home. A twin flame is more like a mirror that shows you everything, even what you would rather not see. If you think he might be the second kind, my article on twin flame signs and the runner phase will help you.

• Feeling: with a soulmate, calm and safety. With a twin flame, intensity and awakening.
• Closeness: with a soulmate, steady. With a twin flame, often a back and forth.
• Growth: with a soulmate you grow because he holds you. With a twin flame you grow because he challenges you.
• Arguments: with a soulmate, cleared up quickly. With a twin flame, often deep and unsettling.
• After you’ve seen each other: with a soulmate you feel light. With a twin flame, moved and sometimes shaken up.

One simple question often helps: how do you feel when you haven’t seen him for a week? With a soulmate you miss him, but you are calm. With a twin flame the longing is often almost physical, and your thoughts keep circling back to him.

When it feels deep but keeps getting heavier

Some connections feel like a soulmate at first and get heavier over time. You adapt more and more, get careful and keep watching his mood. Then look honestly. Often there is a karmic relationship with a lesson behind it.

You’ll often read that a twin flame is the highest form of love and a soulmate only the smaller version. I see it differently. Many of the happiest partnerships I have seen in the cards were soulmates, with less drama and more peace. The Lovers remind you that you get to choose which love you want to live. For many women who have fought for love for a long time, the biggest task with a soulmate is simply letting themselves fall. They look for the catch because it feels so easy. Sometimes there isn’t one.

A soulmate isn’t the person who makes your heart race. It’s the person who finally lets it slow down.

Frequently asked questions

Can a soulmate be a friend?

Yes. A soulmate can be the friend you have shared everything with since school. The feeling is the same: you can be fully yourself with her and you come to rest. Only the kind of love is different.

How do I know if he feels the same way?

A soulmate usually shows his affection through reliability. He reaches out, he keeps his word and he wants to spend time with you. If you constantly have to guess whether he likes you, take a closer look.

Can I miss my soulmate?

I understand that fear well. I had lost hope myself before I met my soulmate. The paths of soulmates often cross more than once. If you stay open and take good care of yourself, it is easier to recognize him when he is there.

And then, a few months later, you are walking along the river again. This time you tell him about your day and what’s on your mind, and he simply listens. That feels like resting too.